Recently
I noticed a problem with deciding at myself. It is going with me for a long
time and it hurts me. I cannot say it is behind me, but I think I found out
something useful and revolutionary today.
We
ask God about His will too much. In this case we much keep God completely out
of it! Do not get me wrong, please: God is needed to decision. But we ungently
put our responsibility on His shoulders by asking about His will comfortly! I
realise I do not do it by faith, but by comfort and it is wrong.
I
have a dilema and ask God: “What do you want me to do?“ and he replies: “And
what do YOU want?“ I ask God so much like I would be afraid to choose. In the
movied Facing the Giants there is a backup coach and he stands in front of not
easy task: The main coach is weak and unable to lead his team and the sport’s leadership
force the backup coach to use his authority during the voting and put this main
coach out of ring (later we find out that God will help this main coach, but
nobody know about it yet). What will the main coach do? Beg his assistant not to
betray him? Is he holding back not to screw anything? NO! He comes to him and
says: “Make a choice! Hasitating will not help anybody.“
It’s
the same with me. Do I really ask about God’s will, or is it that I am afraid
to choose, because I am so scared of consequences? Thank you, Lord, that you
risk so much with me as the main coach did! I even think that the bad choice is
better than no choice. I noticed that during my studies.
Do
I want to study? No? ... I ask God and hear nothing. Stupid? No. Not getting
the answer from God gives us a great advantage: We have a huge freedom in choosing
(if it is generaly about good things). You don’t know school to study? And God
says nothing? Great, you can make a choice on your own – but a-ha!
Consequences. But anyway, it is better to finish the wrong school than not to
start with studies at all, right?
Next
thing is that God’s will does not prosper here. I asked about it so much, but
when God shows it to me, I am lazy to do it. I found that this June at the end
of my semester. I was not able to study enough for my oral exam, I had already
had a job, so I was not worried about firing me from the school. I told God: “Be
Your will. If they fire me, it means you don’t want me here. If I pass, I know,
it’s Your will to stay here and study.“ I came there with two another boys, who
studied much more harder than me. Those two were fired, I passed. God showed
me, He wants me there.
But
this was like the end for me. Until I realised that God’s will must never be
the end! It is about decision – do we want it too? And if not, it is better to
do even bad choice, because hesitating will not help anybody. Either I want to
study and I will do maximum for that, or I do not – but in that case I will
look for life at different place.
Please,
apply this alegory about studies on university to your other personal problems
in families, relationships, marriages and so on. There is always choice needed
and to go for it.
Last
thing about that: priorities. If I decide about something seriously, I need to
choose how high priority it is for me. About this choice the best to do is to
make a priority-list. And, of course, to obey it. Done? OK, how is it going?
Get up in moring and go to the bathroom. Clean your self. OK, hygiene is
important. Next? Morning prayers, lunch, studying, some time with your
girlfriend at the evening, evening prayers and go to bed. We did not study so
hard as we decided to. I ask my self – how much time did I spend on facebook
that day? Why is it so important? Because facebook was not on my priority-list!
It is not on the list, so it goes to the background – I do mainly the things,
which ARE on the list.
You
know what? I can visit facebook. You can do it for two hours per day. You can
be there even five hours per day. You can easily be there since morning till
night and waste your time. Really. You really can and it is not a sin. You can,
but only if it’s on your priority-list.
I
hope you understand, you need wisdom to make a choice and to arrange your
priorities. But the paragraph above is there because of Jesus‘ words: Let be
your YES yes and NO no. Make you priorities-list, but do not lie to yourself.
They obey it.
Last
thing: you will fail for sure. You need God to lead you through this. And
because thisi is his perfect plan and he raises us to make choices, that is why
he will bless us in this. But we are people and we will fail. I did have
problems with one sin and thank God I did deal with it. After some time I
fought with other problems and God helped me even with that ones. But then the
serious hurt came, when the old sin came up and I surrended it – everything went
down like a house from the cards. You blow and it is gone just like that. Just
gone. And you can start all over again. And I think I am scared so much
especially because of my tries. I don’t want to fail, I do not want to start
all over again.
But
this is how it works with God, He said: Behold, I make everything new! Are you
afraid that now, when you are doing well with God, you are loayal, you fight a
good fight, so now, are you scared about failure and losing everything. Let me
encourage you – you will really lose it. You will fail, fall and lose everything.
But our Lord is loayal, when he will not build the same house you destroyed –
he will build a new, much bigger and better house. And that is why I will try
eventhough I am scared about my falling and not going well. God is with me in
this.
Do
not be afraid!
